Thursday, July 28, 2011

"The Pain of Motherhood"

written by Courtney Girdwood taken from Above Rubies October 2010, No. 80

I love my children so much that at times it hurts.  Mothering brings me so much joy, yet it is the most frightening and overwhelming task imaginable.

One day you are handed the most beautiful, marvelous gift.  You stare in awe-struck wonder and breathe in the sweet fragrance of new life.  You cannot fathom how this tiny little human will forever change the world as you know it.  Or, how your own life as you know it, will forever change.

Once you are a Mother, things you never worried about suddenly become foremost in your mind.  You find yourself double-checking if the doors are locked before you go to bed. You always make sure you buckle up.  You apply two layers of sunscreen just in case.  You baby proof e-v-e-r-y-thing.

Mothering is so very scare.   Life isn't about you anymore.  Not only do you worry about your child's well-being, you worry about your own well-being.  After I became a mom, I found myself constantly praying for God to protect me, because, second to the thought of losing one of my children is the thought of them losing me.

I pray more than I have ever prayed in my life.  Life is so unpredictable and our children are at the mercy of this dangerous world and have an enemy who wants nothing more than to devour them.  This reality drives me to my knees, daily.  Each day I have to give my fears over to God and ask Him to help me love my little ones while entrusting Him totally with their care.

The hardest part of being a mother is knowing that at some point in time my children will have to suffer. Suffering is an inevitable part of life.  Some of my children have already experienced it and I can't express how much it pains me to know there was nothing I could have done to save them from it. 

Many times I have seen one of my children in pain and wished I could take their place.  I would take any amount of suffering if it meant my child didn't have to suffer.  Tears form in my eyes at the every thought of one of them becoming ill, facing despair, having their hearts broken or making mistakes that will forever alter their future.  I often think of Mary.  What must it have been like to be Jesus' mother and to witness His torture and death?

Sometimes I wonder why God called me to be a mother.  At times, the task seems too great to bear and my heart feels like it could crack into millions of pieces.  I love my children so deeply, so profoundly that I wonder sometimes if I can handle it.  And yet, my God loves them even more.  He loves me even more.  He loves you even more.

Mothering is the perfect picture of Christ's love for us.  He saw us suffering in a dark and sinful world.  He came to us to save us from and eternity of suffering.  He took our place and paid the ultimate price.  He loved us that much.  My love for my children is just a speck in comparison to His love for us.

Each day, I lay my precious treasures at His feet.  I lay my fears, my heartache, and my ever-present desire to protect them, at the foot of the cross.  I pray that God will give me all that I need to mother them well.  I ask that He will provide me the strength to endure whatever comes our way.

I thank Him for the incredible privilege of being called Mommy.  I thank Him for each day that I get to experience a glimpse of His vast love for me through the love He has given me for my treasures.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

The Best Day of My Life

As I continue to go through my files in preparation to go on the road for deputation I have found more jewels!  Here is one I found today:

The Best Day of My Life

Today, when I awoke, I suddenly realized that this is the best day of my life, ever!  There were times when I wondered if I would make it today; but I did!  And because I did I'm going to celebrate!  Today I'm going to celebrate what an unbelievable life I have had so far; the accomplishments, the many blessings, and, yes, even the hardships because they have served to make me stronger.  I will go through this day with my head held hight, and a happy heart.  I will marvel at God's seemingly simple gifts:  the morning dew, the sun, the clouds, the trees the flowers, and the birds.  Today, none of these miraculous creations will escape my notice.  Today, I will share my excitement for life with other people.  I'll make someone smile.  I'll go out of my way to perform an unexpected act of kindness for someone I don't even know.  Today I'll give a sincere compliment to someone who seems down.  I'll tell a child how special he is, and I'll tell someone I love just how deeply I care for them and how much they mean to me.  Today is the day I quit worrying about what I don't have and start being grateful for all the wonderful things God has already given me.  I'l remember that to worry is just a waste of time because my faith in God and His Divine Plan ensures everything will be just fine.  Tonight, before I go to bed, I'll go outside the raise my eyes to the heavens.  I will stand in awe at the beauty of the stars and the moon, and I will praise God for these magnificent treasures.  As the day ends and I lay my head down on my pillow, I will thank my Almighty God for the best day of my life.  And I will sleep the sleep of a contented child, excited with expectation because I know tomorrow is going to be. . .The best day of my life.

author unknown

Monday, July 18, 2011

Thank God for You

Author Unknown

This poem was given to me by a friend.

Thank God for you, good friend of mine,
Seldom is friendship such as  thine;
How very much I wish to be
As helpful as you've been to me--
Thank God for you.

When I recall from time to time 
How you inspired this heart of mine,
I find myself inclined to pray,
"God bless my friend this very day:--
Thank God for you. 

Of many prayer quests, one thou art
On whom I ask God to impart
Rich blessings from His store house rare, 
and grant to you His gracious care--
Thank God for you.

So often at the throne of grace
There comas a picture of your face,
And then instinctively I pray
That God may guide you all the way--
Thank God for you.

Some day I hope with you to stand
Before the throne at God's right hand,
And say to you at journey's end,
Praise God, you've been to me a friend--
Thank God for you.

As I typed this I thought of my dear friend, Susan Baduria. . .thank God for you!!

God Knows the Answer

God Knows the Answer

I question not God's means or ways,
Or how He uses tie or days,
To answer every call or prayer,
I know He will, somehow, somewhere

I question not the time or place
When I shall feel His love and grace;
I only know that I believe,
And richest blessing shall receive.

I cannot doubt that He'll attend
My every cal, and that He'll send
A ministering angel fair,
In answer to my faithful prayer.

by F. B. Whitney
(also cut out of a church bulletin from my childhood days)

Also from the same bulletin:
"Bowing the head for a few minutes at the beginning of the day will help one to walk more erect during the hours that follow."

The State of Souls

The State of Souls
(my own title to an anonymous article from a church bulletin from when I was a girl)

"They're passing, passing fast away,
A hundred thousand souls a day,
In Christless guilt and gloom.
O Christians, what wilt thou say
When in the awful judgment day,
They charge thee with their doom?"

Memories. . .

Well, it's official.  We are going to the Philippines.  Lord willing we will start deputation in January.  How long this has been in the coming. . .but how wonderful God is that He knows the perfect timing!!

As I have been getting rid of bags and bags of things the local charities have benefited greatly.  Particularly the ones who will come and collect me earthly belongings.  All of it is going.  Kitchen, bedrooms, living room, bathroom. . .slowly being completely emptied.  So far I have tackled the kids' room, our room and the kitchen.  Today's project was to go through papers in the filing cabinet.  Memories have been flooding me all day as I have read cards, seen handprints, and seen evidences of how God has lead us through very difficult times.  Some things are very difficult to get rid of.  Others I found my self wondering why I have been letting them have space in my house!

I have loved poetry since I was a little girl. . .reading and writing.  As I have gone through the files I have found things for which I cannot afford room, so I've decided to put them on my blog where I can go back later and find them again if I want. My hope is that while I save these passages for myself, you will receive a blessing from them too.  Thus my next several posts will be gleanings from my files.  I hope you enjoy!