Never did I comprehend the new ministry God was giving me when I left my home to begin pre-field ministry in February of this year. God has done unspeakable things in my life. He has polished and encouraged using so many wonderful folks along the way. Pre-field ministry, or deputation at it is commonly known, holds many blessings as well as trials. The Lord has given me the burden to share these blessings as well as some of the trials along the way. I believe there are three reasons the Lord would like me to write about these things: 1) to encourage other missionaries by testifying of God's provision for us 2) to help those who pray for us to know how to pray specifically 3) to encourage those who are considering God's calling upon their lives that God is able and WILL take care of them if they will but trust and obey Him. I pray God will use the upcoming posts to accomplish these things.
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
As I was sorting and getting rid of yet more of our earthly belongings, I ran across this poem. This was included in the program at the funeral of my beloved Grammies. Grammies was my mother's grandmother and her best friend after losing her own mother at a young age. I'm sorry, I do not know who the author is.
May I Go?
May I go now?
Don't you think the time is right?
May I say good-bye to pain-filled days
and endless nights?
I've lived my life and done my best,
an example tried to be,
So can I take that step beyond
and set my spirit free?
I didn't want to go at first.
I fought with all my might!
But something seems to draw me now
to a warm and loving light.
I want to go!
I really do!
It's difficult to stay.
But I will try as best I can
to live just one more day. . .
To give you time to care for me
and share your love and fears.
I know you're sad and are afraid
because I see your tears.
I'll not be far, I promise that,
and hope you'll always know
that my spirit will be close to you
wherever you may go.
Thank you so for loving me.
You know I loved you too.
That's why it's hard to say good-bye
and end this life with you.
So hold me now, just one more time,
and let me hear you say,
because you care so much for me,
you'll let me go today.
I realize, being a poet who writes in traditional form, that this is not properly laid out, but I have typed it here just as it was given at the funeral. Also there are some things I know are not true or are obscure. That "something" drawing for a Christian is God in Heaven. Further down the poem says, ". . .my spirit will be close to you. . . ." This is also not true as we know that our spirit goes to Heaven or Hell after our body dies. These things aside. It was a solemn reminder to me today to be thankful for life and to love those around me while I can.